I'm a what!
by mumyou nanashi
Summary: warning: not for yaoi and Mary Sue writerslovers. Mitsui decides to surf the net for some 'good reads'. How do you think will he react to the ehem yaoi stories?


**Author's Notes: This is not for yaoi and Mary Sue writers/lovers! I warned you!**

**Disclaimer: 'My name is Takehiko Inoue and I own Slam Dunk!' Just joking! (not funny, ne?) Puh-leaze! I'm not even a guy! Also, any similarities on the summaries, titles, and pen names below are purely coincidental. So please, please, please, don't sue(?) me! I didn't pattern them after any of your stories! It's just the whole idea of the whole Mary Sue thing! So don't get mad at me! I'm not dissing your stories…it's just that, well, fanfiction.net did say something about 'unleashing our imagination and freeing our _soul'. I'm not getting rich through this! SO PLEASE DO NOT SUE ME!_**

**Summary of Disclaimer: I don't own anything so don't sue me.**

**Chapter 1**

            Here I am, Mitsui Hisashi, the ex-MVP-turned-gangster-now-a-'peaceful'-basketball-player-because-of-Anzai-sensei-plus-a-great-three-pointer, in front of my computer doing my, ahem, assignment in English literature.

            I glanced at my notebook. There were some questions I needed to answer about some guy named Shakespeare. I brought my notebook closer to my eyes. I squinted at the words. What the hell? Is this my handwriting? It gets worse and worse each day! I wouldn't do this fucking assignment if it depended on my life!

            I sighed. Actually it did. This is a special assignment! I'd flunk English if I don't do this! Just who the hell was Shakespeare anyway? I bet if I challenged him to a one on one, I'd beat the hell out of him!  Aw, forget it! I'll just flunk English! So what? I won't be needing that when I'm playing for the National Team. Plus, I'm dead beat. Today's practice was a nightmare! Akagi's pushing us to the limit!

            Hell, I'll just surf the net for a while. Ayako told me there was some funny fics about us guys. She was laughing really hard, her face was all red like an overripe tomato. All throughout the practice, she kept on throwing meaningful glances at us. Like Akagi, Kogure, Sakuragi, Ryota and I had a relationship or something.

            Was it www.fanfiction.net? Or .com? I sat there for a few minutes as I looked for the fics about us Shohoku guys. What the hell…?

1. **A Beautiful Mind…Body, Heart, Face, Soul…etc by ****beautifulme REVIEW **

The Mary Sue to end all Mary Sues! Starring Rukawa Kaede and Mary Sue! Will she be able to break through the impenetrable wall of ice surrounding him?

2. **A Beautiful Mind…Body, Heart, Face, Soul…etc Part2 by ****beautifulmeREVIEW  **

a sequel to the Mary Sue to end all Mary Sues! She does break through the impenetrable wall of ice surrounding him! But tragedy strikes…What is Rukawa without his impenetrable-yet-penetrable-to-Mary-Sue wall of ice?

3. **Gangsta Lovin' by ****ex-gangsta's girlREVIEW  **

She was a beautiful girl from…whatever country she came from…he was an ex-MVP-turned-gangster-now-a-'peaceful'-basketball-player-because-of-Anzai-sensei-plus-a-great-three-pointer…Mitsui and Mary Sue…

4. **Rukawa vs. Sendoh by ****My name is Mary SueREVIEW  **

Mary Sue has melted Rukawa's heart…(he's nothing but a blubbering idiot now)...Sendoh falls for Rukawa's girl…Will a game of basketball be enough to win Mary Sue's heart? Please excuse my basketball scenes! I don't understand a thing about that game! LOL!

5. **The Man Behind The Kitsune by ****rukawa's lawyerREVIEW  **

What made Rukawa so distant? So aloof? Was it because of a tragically corny past? Or was it because of a certain girl? This certain girl who's so perfect, so good at playing basketball that she could make Mitsui's three pointers look like rotten beef, so pretty, so…Mary Sue? Review please!

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            Hmmm…Even Ryonan's here…Just who the heck is this Mary Sue girl? Sheesh! Her stories are even more airheaded than Akagi's sister! And that Rukawa Brigade! To think they even included me! And Sendoh? All that guy ever does is…fish! Rukawa? *snort* All that guy ever does is sleep and drool!

            This is what Ayako's laughing about? There must be something else here… WHAT THE HELL…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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6. **Me, Myself, and the Tensai by ****s2pdmeREVIEW  **

Hanamichi realizes he loves Rukawa…at the exact moment Mitsui tells him about his feelings for him…*yaoi* Please read and review! This is a great addition to those who just love HanaRu's!!!

7. **Ah! Megane-sama! by ****airheaded-bimboREVIEW  **

Hi, minna-san! AU, MitKo! Kogure is a god who fell in love with Mitsui. They were binded by a contract made in Heaven! But Kogure will die if he stays in earth too long…what will Mitsui do?

8. **Dilemma?! by ****k.nelly REVIEW  **

Rukawa realizes that he likes Sendoh. Sendoh, in turn, is torn between Koshino and Rukawa…who will it be?

9. **Miss You Nights by ****boyband-freakazoidREVIEW  **

a songfic revolving around Fujima Kenji and Hanagata Toru's relationship…one shot! Review please!

10. **My Best-rival's Wedding by ****I'm a moronic airheadREVIEW  **

Sendoh's getting married! What will Rukawa do? *yaoi* SenRu! Review!!!

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            KOGURE AND I? KOGURE AND I! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! HANAMICHI AND RUKAWA? HANAMICHI AND RUKAWA! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS EITHER! SENDOH AND KOSHINO? SENDOH AND KOSHINO! Well, probably…I always thought there was something behind that hentaish smile of Sendoh. Anyway…I'M NOT A GAY! Kogure maybe…nah, I don't think so…I saw some porn stuff inside his locker once…oops!

            Going back to the topic at hand…I WON'T, NOT EVER IN MY LIFE, HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY!!! JUST WHAT ARE THESE MUSCLES FOR? WHAT MADE YOU THINK I'M A GAY? Oh, maybe that episode when I broke down and cried just like a child (isn't these a cheesy bsb song?)? Well, I just cried because I missed basketball you know…and what the heck!

            I should've just finished my assignment about the Shakespeare guy. I know _he wouldn't write about my so-called non-existent relationship with a guy…ne, Shakespeare-san?_

**Author's Notes: So was it funny? Or corny? Sorry, I even had the guts to publish this piece of crap! I had nothing to do and…I was depressed! School starts on Jan. 6! I can't take it anymore! I hate school! Well, anyway, review…if you like. Thanks for your time! Bye! Until next time…hopefully…**

            Oh! And sorry if there were too many ?s, !s and …s on my fic…just a habit, you know…


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